I'm here for the Lulz.

I know I've been gone awhile and this is pretty out of the blue, but I need to vent and I just feel downright petty about this.

I separate my friends into groups or categories, not as in A-list or B-list, but more like "friends I went to high school with," "friends I love to party with," etc.  Anyway, my 25th birthday is coming up and since my life has been complicated and somewhat disappointing so far this year, I've been looking forward to it and have been trying to think up ways to celebrate it.  After all, this is my quarter life crisis.

Anyway, I have a group of friends, I'll call my old skool friends.  A couple of them I've known since we were kids.  Two other girls in the "OS" have birthdays in June, same as me, except my birthday is early June while theirs are in late June.  They decided to have a party weekend in Vegas around their birthdays and decided I should celebrate mine with them.  Since it seemed like a pretty fun idea, I agreed, after all, the more the merrier.  I asked some of my other friends from the "Fun Fun Fun" to come along for the fun as well.

Here's the thing: I go to Vegas fairly often, whether on Business or pleasure.  It's only a 4 hr drive or 45 minute flight away.  I just got back from a really fantastic weekend there and I facebooked and twittered (tweeted) like crazy about it.  It was so much fun, I was gushing about how I couldn't wait to celebrate my birthday there.  I talked to a few "OS" girls about my weekend and asked for details about the June trip.  Suddenly, they clammed up and gave me very vague answers.  I was kind of hurt and confused, but I just let it go.  If they didn't want me to go, I wouldn't impose.

I told one of my best friends who is part of the "FFF" group.  She was annoyed for me at the OSs, but said we could celebrate in May instead, we didn't need them.  I really appreciated her support.  Two of my other friends had birthdays in late May and my bff was getting her masters that same month.  We talked about joining up and having a 4way celebration.  I got excited all over again.

About twenty minutes ago, she sent me an invitation on facebook.  I checked it and it was for the vegas trip, but lo and behold, it said it was in honor of the two other birthday girls, my bff, and two other grads, and she invited people she knows I have problems with.  It seems so stupid that I could feel this hurt about this, but I am.  And I don't want to say anything aloud; it seems like venting about it through vox seems less childish.  I guess I don't mind too much that I'm not included in the celebrants; i think I'm more hurt because this kind of seems like the "FFF" group also rescinded my invitation.  I don't feel welcome and I don't want to impose.

I love all my friends and I don't want to seem so whiny but I'm at a loss.  I'd rather spend my birthday alone than look ridiculous and have someone turn to me after we toast the celebrants and say "Oh, isn't your bday coming up? What are you doing for it?"

Ugh, I don't want to be drama, but this is bugging the crap out of me. 

It's also in my vox.  Ugh, I'm so glad I changed my layout. I'm not entirely happy with what I chose, but I'm too busy and too tired to make my own.  Whatever, it's better than my old one which was frankly destroying my eyesight even more.

I went shopping with one of my best friends in Old Town Pasadena last night.  It's been awhile since I've had the time and energy to do such a thing and it made me feel OLD.  I'm 24 years old and I feel like I should be having tupperware parties and wearing white leggings and an oversized t-shirt.  Seriously, what is this fashion trend of looking like a homeless person?  Everywhere I turned, it looked like I was in a Zoolander fashion show and there were several Derelicte appropriate outfits.  I admit, some outfits are cute, but that is on a mannequin.  On a normal breathing human, it would look messy and food stampsy.  Why would anyone want to look like that?  If you think it's cool and fashion forward, I'm going to tell you now, I think you look like an idiot. 

My father was homeless and who knows, maybe he still is.  It was completely his fault and I feel no pity for him, so maybe that's why I have such an aversion to that look.  It reminds me of what an idiot and an asshole my father is.

Sorry to go off on a rant. I'm just angry that it's friday and I'm stuck at work.  BORING.

Anyway, I'm stuck on Young Adult fiction and it's really embarrassing.  I blame it on Harry Potter, it opened up a whole bucket of bad writing.  HP was excellent and I have no qualms about it.  But others. . .well. . . it sounds like it was written for young adults by young adults. .  that don't know how to write.

Tomorrow is another USC tailgate/football game.  I shall most likely be drunk and obnoxious which is the way it should be.

Off to sit at my desk and pretend to work.  Toodles.

If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be?

The same name as my brother.  That's right, my mom would have had two sons named ______.  I'm actually pretty glad I was born a girl solely for this reason.

Meme I saw a few people doing today: 10 Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't.

(The key to filling out this meme: be really, really specific.)

1. Partied like a rockstar at the House of Blues

I like to start off with a very misleading headline.  I did not in fact party like a rockstar.  What I did do was vomit like a drunk ass friend of the band. You see, when I was younger, I liked to drink.  I also weighed about 100 lbs.  Bad combination.  After a show at the HoB, I was backstage, boozing it up.  The band had already left, so we were boozing it up for them.  I don't remember what I drank, but I remember it tasting awful.  Suddenly I found myself crawling through the back rooms, looking for a place to die.  Someone shoved a discarded plastic grocery bag in front of my face and I vomitted like my life depended on it. And what do you do with a grocery bag full of puke?  Dispose of it in a sanitary fashion? OF COURSE NOT! You tie up the handles and leave it on a dinner table for a surprised employee to find.

2. Had to replace three cell phones due to water damage.

One in the toilet, one in the sink, and one in my boyfriend's pocket when he was drunk and jumped into a river.  It's kinda why I shouldn't have nice things.

3. Was almost detained and/or shot by the Border Police in Bosnia.

If you ever get the chance to go to Croatia, you should.  You should also, however, be wary of pissing off people with guns in Bosnia.  I was on a tour bus going from Croatia into Bosnia; it's kind of weird.  When you're in Croatia, you have to pass through Bosnia to get to another part of Croatia. Anyway, we were stopped at the border.  They collected everyone's passports and held us up for half an hour.  The scary part was our tour guide visibly shaking and whispering to us to be quiet.  To further drive the point home, the police circled the bus, glaring at us, rifles on their shoulders. 

4. Been saved from pickpocket with a rape whistle.

I'm a jetsetter.  I've been to Rome.  One of the times I was there, I was there with a big group consisting of mostly family.  While walking past the Coliseum, we were approached by gypsies (I assume), holding babies and asking for help.  We all knew they were going to try and take our shit and clutched our bags closer.  Well that wasn't enough for one of my aunts.  She saw  one of the women with a baby walk towards one of the smaller women in our group.  So my aunt ripped out her rape whistle and blew the shit out of it.  The gypsies just looked at us warily then backed away.   

5. Been mistaken for Miss Thailand AND Miss Philippines

One was by a senile old filipino man and one was a pervy old white man.  It felt dirty each time. 

6. Stayed at the Waldorf-Astoria on a whim.

I used to have a really great boyfriend.  A really great boyfriend who was VERY impatient.  We were in Manhattan on business and the hotel we were in sucked.  Our room was probably less than 400 sq. ft.  We were there one night and he decided he'd had enough so we marched over to the Waldorf, told them we were on a honeymoon and got a kick ass suite. . . .then promptly got the flu.

7. Been a Spokesmodel for GM (General Motors).

GM decided to open up a test drive course for potential customers to see how they liked their vehicles.  I shot a promotional video in which I drove a Corvette (in boots) was told to race around the track, do donuts and basically drive the fuck out of the car.  Then they did a photo shoot in which the photographer was perched in the passenger seat, shooting me.  Without a seat belt.  As I drove 80 mph on the course and did donuts.  I thought I was going to kill us both.  I also drove with a "GM Expert" who was actually some NASCAR guy's nephew or something.  I had a mic on and the GM Expert guy kept feeding me these terrible pickup lines.  It was so bad that the audio tech that was listening in (trying to extract some material that could be useable) told my agent who promptly the guy replaced with a girl that really didn't give a shit and she texted the whole time she was in the car with me.  It was one of my last modeling gigs, but OH MY GOD did I make money on it.

8. Had a camel toe on purpose.

Before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain.  My very first job was at Disneyland on Pirates of the Caribbean.  If you've been, you know how terrible the costumes are.  I was very vain and I tried to make the costume as sexy as I could.  It turns out the pants were very flattering on my ass.  So the tighter the pants were, the better my ass looked.  Naturally I stuffed myself into pants that I would not be able to sit down in.  The front of the vest or top or whatever covered my crotch so my camel toe was covered.  As good as my ass looked, I'm surprised I didn't get a yeast infection from the epic camel toe. 

9. Have never seen Titanic.

I've never seen it, nor do I have any desire to see it.

10. Read the Harry Potter books in less than a week, the Twilight series in one day.

HP was wonderful, Twilight was awful, but I still read them at lightning speed.  That means I win.

Show us your favorite method of transportation.

If you know what type of transportation I'm talking about, you're fucking cool in my book.

Apparate

Sorry.  I was told the other day I kinda have an accent.  I guess it's from speaking to people in the Bible belt for 8 hours a day.  Yeah. . . I caught myself "Oh mah goodness, y'all!"  Don't worry, I kicked my own ass afterwards.

WORK

I really fucking hate this place.  For serious.  I hate it so much, I'm daydreaming about what kind of havoc I would wreak on my last day.  Nothing illegal or dangerous of course.  But still. . . . I really like what I do, I love being in this industry.  I just hate my company and coworkers.  I have a coworker I call Felt Face (her skin is so disgusting. It's so dry and she cakes on foundation) who thinks nothing of stepping on toes or throwing people under the bus.  She is the least deserving person in the world, yet upper management gives her preferrential treatment.  She gossips about the rest of us to management and they believe it.  I was the golden child of the sales dept and with one word from her all of a sudden I was in "jeopardy of losing my job."  I bring you at least $3m in sales a year while being grossly underpaid and you're telling me I might lose my job? Fuck that shit.  Resumes went out yesterday.

LOVELIFE

Non-existant.  It's hard to get over the loss of the love of your life when he does nothing but send you harassing text messages.  THANKS SO MUCH Verizon for lying to me and telling me you could block unwanted numbers.  I would have stayed with At&t just for that feature.  Ugh, I can't change my phone number, too many clients have it.  I still love that guy and I always will, but you just know when it can no longer work.

FUN

Going to the USC football game tomorrow. . .Well, not really.  I'm going to tailgate in the parking lot.  I doubt I'll be sober enough to stand, let alone make it into the stadium to watch the game.  Can't wait, this is the first time I've done anything fun in months. . . or years. . . wow. How sad.

EMBARASSING CONFESSION

I can't believe I'm admitting this, but here goes.  I LOVE  Harry Potter.  Love it.  That's not my confession.  I am obsessed with the Twilight Series.  It's so god damn awful.  She writes like a teenaged fan fic writer.  The thing is, the story and plot itself is so riveting, that when you pick it up, you can't put it down.  And I'm not quite a fan of the series. I'm a fan of how ridiculous it is and when people much smarter than me write shit like this:

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/2008/08/02/

OR shit like this that makes me laugh out loud and possibly snort:

http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html

Plus, Twimoms, women over the age of 25 and/or married are OBSESSED with this shit.  Look up the twimoms message board, those bitches drive cross country, sneak on set, and harass the actors into posing with them for pictures.  It would be disturbing if it weren't so funny. 

Ok, time to go back to work. *sigh* I missed vox.

I'm back. . and I'm pissed.  I'll update later, but just wanted to say hi y'all.

I'm not sure what I should blog about, though I know my vox feels neglected.

Work is not so good. It's been a Slooooowwww month for me and I lost the biggest customer I had.  I'm sure my bank account is going to be mighty sad when I pay the rent at the end of the month.

Love life. . . ah it's a roller coaster. I have a few people that are interested in me, in whom I have no interest.  And the one person I do have interest in is. . well. . . pretty fucking pissed off at me.  I've kinda told myself to just roll with the punches, but rolling with the punches isn't exactly getting me anywhere.

The one really kick ass thing is my apartment.  It's turning into one really snazzy dig. I'm STILL waiting for my god damned bed and tv to be delivered, though. *sigh*

I'm still looking for extra money and apparently it'd be very easy if I didn't live in California.  Damn you, Alpine!

Anyway, this update sucked, but at least I made an effort. Peace out.

Blech. I've been eating so well and so lightly for awhile that eating a taco makes me want to vomit my insides.

Just a rant here:

How the fuck am I lacking in funds?  I make twice as much as my friends do, a little more than my mom makes, and I don't spend money.  My monthly rent is a 1/4 of my monthly salary, my bills don't amount to much, and the most amount I spend is on my dogs to buy them new toys or treats.  What the fuck gives?  I was just thinking about getting a side gig for extra money, but it may be that I'll HAVE to get a side gig if I want to keep living.

I want to strangle my coworker so badly.  I only know two people in my life I wished physical harm upon. . . she makes it three.

I'm taking the day off on Monday to do a mini road trip up the coast.  Lord knows why.  My best friends want to take one of their cars (a convertible) up PCH to Santa Barbara.  Kind of random, but I've been so damned stressed lately, anything to distract me is welcome.